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Keeping Your Cool: 5 Tips to Manage Anger

Yiwen Lu, MS, RD
November 6, 2023
December 8, 2023

As human beings, we navigate a complex web of emotions each day, and this is perfectly normal. Life often throws unexpected situations our way, and our perspective on these moments can significantly impact not only our personal growth, but also the maintenance of healthy relationships. One such pivotal emotion is angerMastering the art of anger management is a vital coping skill that empowers us to better respond to challenging and frustrating circumstances in a more constructive manner. 

This comprehensive guide will delve into five essential steps designed to equip you with the tools necessary to take charge of your anger, enhance your emotional well-being, and interpersonal connections.

1. Recognize the Triggers

The first step in controlling anger is to become aware of the situations, people, or events that trigger your anger. Pay attention to your emotional responses and try to identify patterns. Think of this awareness as a map of your emotional landscape. You can navigate it more skillfully when you know where the potential storms might brew. Additionally, by recognizing your triggers, you can gain valuable opportunities to develop new strategies for responding to these situations with a cooler head and a calmer heart.

2. Regularly Practice Relaxation Techniques 

Making relaxation techniques a routine part of your day to day can be game-changing. When that familiar surge of anger starts creeping in, simply take a deep breath. Inhale slowly through your nose, savoring each breath, hold for a few precious seconds, and then release it slowly through your mouth. This simple act of deep breathing can work wonders: it can help diminish the physical stress response that often accompanies anger. And the benefits don't stop there - exploring other relaxation methods like meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization can further soothe both your mind and body. better equipped to face life's challenges With a composed demeanor, you are now better equipped to face life's challenges!

3. Use Time-Outs

Remember, sometimes, the wisest course of action is to give yourself a timeout. When you feel anger boiling up inside you, consider briefly stepping away from the situation for a short period of time. It's like hitting the pause button on a heated conversation or frustrating event. During this interlude, take a breather  and let yourself  cool down. Take  this timeout to reflect on your feelings, gather your thoughts, and perhaps most importantly, gain a fresh perspective.

4. Learn to Communicate Effectively

Instead of suppressing your anger until it reaches a tipping point or letting it erupt inappropriately, consider a more constructive approach. Express your feelings assertively and respectfully, using what we call "I" statements. These statements start with "I" and convey your emotions in a non-confrontational manner. For instance, you might say, "I felt hurt when..." or "I am frustrated because...". This approach avoids blame or accusation. So next time, instead of saying, "You did this to me," approach it as "I felt this way when..." By doing so, you create a space for open and empathetic dialogue.

5. Work on Developing Problem-Solving Skills

It's worth noting that anger frequently arises from frustration with a situation or a sense of powerlessness. To effectively manage your anger, invest time and effort in honing your problem-solving abilities. Break down complex issues into manageable steps and actively seek out solutions. Rather than dwelling on complaints or placing blame, focus on finding constructive resolutions. Embrace the idea that every situation can serve as a valuable learning opportunity. Every situation can contribute to your personal growth and a more composed, self-aware self.


Recognize that controlling your anger is a skill that requires practice and patience. Be kind to yourself as you start this journey. Trust that, with persistent effort, progress will gradually unfold. If you find it challenging to tackle alone, don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor. Don’t forget the 3 Cs: Cool, Calm, and Collected!

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